14 years of marriage are enough to give us some lessons. 14 years of living together are enough to tell us the positives and negatives of a relationship.
The Loop in a relationship
1. you keep discovering one person, doesn’t matter of the period you are together. People change through the years and there is always something new to learn about someone. Might be new interests, new habits or even a total new way of living. You should understand that and give them what they want or need.
2. new deals are on the way as life moves on. Priorities are changing, needs and wants are changing and there is always something new you can provide to keep the relationship alive.
3. whatever the case is you should always deliver what you promised. Life is about giving and not about taking. There is a point where you can ask and get of course. Keep delivering value. Even more than what you promised.
4. always go back to the person and see if they are happy. Ask what else you can do to make them happier. This is a great way to receive your feedback and improve.
The check list
1. Love - yes
2. Happiness - yes
3. Getting - yes
4. Troubles - yes
5. Easy - no
6. Worth it - yes
7. Getting better - depends
It is always nice being with someone for many different reasons for each one. But if you are in a relationship that only gives you, you will lose it. You have to turn yourself to a giver. Yes, there are people who are toxic and never give back. In that case make sure you really did everything and go. But if you care, you share. All of you!